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Webmaster Terry
Surprise...its early...
Well...here are the results you've been waiting for:
From "My Blue Heaven"
Vincent Antonelli: You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section. Shaldeen: Why is that? Vincent Antonelli: Because you could melt all this stuff...
Not, I hope, famous, but right up there on the list of most obnoxious: "So, how long have you been on *this* merry-go-round?"
While at the Summer Nationals held at Englishtown last summer, I had this one pulled on me:
"Do you have a light?"
(as in matches or a cigarette lighter)... although he should have made sure he didn't have a pack of matches stuck in the cellophane of his cigarette pack...that made it a bit obvious.
I must admit, he was the nicest "pickup" I have ever met, and we are meeting again this year at Englishtown (same place...next year?)
After going to the trouble of thinking up an original opening line, the most common responses are:
"Do you come here often?" and "Where do you live?"
My favorite "famous line" is one that appeared in this very newsgroup some months ago:
"I'd really like to lick apricot brandy out of your navel."
Other opening lines that I have heard recently (that are famous or near-famous):
"Hi. I'm Big Brother. I've been watching you..." "Where have you been all my life?"
And one that I used recently, as I was standing next to a woman looking out the window at Rochester's first snowstorm:
"Would you like to join me in the Bahamas next week?"
My only defense is that it was said in a way that made it clear that I wasn't serious and that seemed like the thing to say at the time... (She said yes, by the way).
"Would you like to see my Congressional Medal of Honor?" ...then, after fumbling with finding it, "Oops! I must have left it at home."
This can only be used in certain situations, but it worked on me: "You shouldn't run around looking like that or one of us sex-starved young men might attack you." This was said with a grin. I was wearing a halter top with a blouse open over it and jeans. He didn't attack, but we ate dinner together and were good friends through college.
Think you can dance in those shoes? (Nice, macho line. Works best on mean women you've seen once or twice before, instead of "Have I seen you somewhere?")
Ok, you can stand next to me, as long as you don't talk about the heat! (From "Body Heat". Perfect if you've obviously gone waaay out of your way to talk to a woman standing somewhere else.)
Did you have a color television when you were a kid? (Flesh this out with the old "settle an argument" trick, ask her what color Fred Flintstone's dog Dino is. This has *never failed* to generate further conversation.)
You're "no parking", aren't you? (Another two-parter. Explain that you're trying to guess her sign. This is so stupid that it's almost bulletproof in the right kind of bars.)
Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you. (Then walk away!! Casual sincerity is crucial. Next time you walk by, you can go for something mundane: "What's your name, occupation, have you lived in footville long, etc". This works best on well-scrubbed ex-cheerleader types.)
The cutest one I've ever gotten (from my current girlfriend) was after our first date. She got up and turned off the light, and then said,
"Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?"
One that I'm stealing from "Red Bricks", an op-ed comic strip formerly seen at Purdue, is:
"What's your blood type?"
"I'm into semiology. What's your sign?"
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